Shaken

I shook my head in disbelief today...
the kind of thngs that i can hear nd still not feel disrespected is amazing..
My life has become that where I hear things and ignore them...and then once again..
i start to think..that its the same...what will be that will shake me up...one day and wake me up one day..
i am so fed up of hearing the wrong things being said about me all the time..\
i want to put an end to it..all.
i want to put an end to this misery that i am going through each single day of my life...

i dont know what to do...success or no success is not the answer anymore..
anymore to this prolonged misery of a lifetime.....
i have become hard like a rock from inside..and hollow like an empty soul..
i no more carry anything.....in my heart,,,no love no praises..all gone,,,
people say no looking back...but i have nothing to look back to..

i want to put an end to all this..
i will put an end to this..
maybe deciding when you want to put an end to it is success...at least starting of success...
maybe i will be successful one day...

and driving an aston martin..with flowing in my hair..

Praying helps..

I have always been a firm believer of faith...now when i think there is hope...there is only one hope..
and the best one...
i know when they said pray hard what it meant.. it meant everything...
i recently had a chat with my friend...and he said that he feels extremely lucky about certain situations that he has been put
through and some of them were miraculous ones..and due to that reason he stopped praying...
i told him that he should never..stop praying..
I know Praying helps and it will get me through the worst of my times.....

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.....

Life is not the end

Life is not the end it is the beginning... we fear and fear the most those who we love the most...
the fear of letting anything come between us and our friends family and loved ones...for something to be taken away from us at the time when we desire it the most...
I couldnt understand the meeting of withdrawl. . A phenomenon that doesnt get accepted quickly..
The phenomenon that doesnt get accepted in the first go... and slowly when it comes on us we think that now we have no choice but we will have to do it..

The choice is ours.. I have always been an extremely unlucky and emotional person.
I call myself unlucky because whatever I do and meet as an emotional decision gets to be unlucky as there are people who react differently to different people..
and when I get emotional about the wrong things....
then I know that what makes me unlucky...

I once had a friend and his sister used to be very very ....very full of anger.. and she had a habit to be so irrational sometimes that she would even go and break people's things..but then it was possible for her to do things..

Making a list..

Making lists of things that need to be done reduces your chances of going wrong..
I have realised that making lists in life helps a lot..
As a child..and even at the age of 35 I sometimes just let my time flow as it was water... and as we are all in a bad habit of wasting time..
so we waste our precious time...how many years...i look back I realise that how much time i have wasted...i have wasted so much time.. only if i had learnt an important lesson of making lists..

I remember reading an article about making lists..there was a study that was undertaken..where the students who made lists did much more in their practical lives then those who had not..

focus.. loss of perspective

My friends tell me that i have lost perspective in life...
i know i have.. u know when sometimes there is a storm and a big storm...
then you get swept away.. swept away with the tide...its not loss of perspective....its a loss of your basis ...and then sometimes u have to start from scratch..
and then u have to get the focus back.. i have often noticed that even in the worst case scenario if you loose your perspective you take much more time and you will need double the effort as you have negated even that what you have done...

Arjun said that he looks at the goal and sometimes when the goal changes.. the eye should be unshaken because when you get the chance.. you shoot and time will be on your side..

making efforts and encouragement...r keys to success...to be fitted together

Time is a big healer and also a big teacher in life.... but making efforts can change the time and tide....The time will be on your side and so will be the world..
I used to always feel as a child when my parents would ask me that why do they always tell me things when i was actually making efforts.. the fact is that when i was a child i really didnt make efforts.. i was so happy being the second best..or not even being the being anywhere that i would no make efforts and i would hold everybody else around me and my luck responsible for what i was going through...
i know that i was slightly unlucky.. perhaps fortune was really not on my side..
and i knew that ..and i lived in that belief...
i grew up and when i reached i met this most amazing teacher of mine called Mrs Menon...she used to always see me dirting the black board with the chalk cartoons which were my favourite.. doing themes each day was my habit.. i liked to call some days bird days and some flower days and then make so many of the same together...Baani and Bhawana then appreciated my work.. my poems.. my short poems and told me that i was really gifted in expressing myself on paper...in writing... i know that if i didnt have the encouragement from Mrs Menon, Baani and Bhawan I would have put in no efforts and never known that I could really do a lot had I started writing...

It made me realise that I could definetely develop the art of writing...
As a kid i used to write a poem for everything.. a poem when i sneezed.. a poem when i had a cup of tea when it was raining.. and i remember i used to trouble everybody in my family to give me a topic and then i would sit and write a poem on it...
Later Japneet's encouragement did a lot for me.. he encouraged me a lot to write and very often i played rhyming words with him and writing poems...

I knew then efforts and encouragement if put together in the right balance can get you success... i know that it can get you success i am waiting for mine,, and hoping that some day this world would also know that i was after all somebody who was genuine and could go extempo...
Just like great people.. born...

Mother Teresa said Kind words can take you a long way..
and I think I agree with her more than ever.....

I miss people like her..whose proven efforts have given many homes and many homeless some food and made them survive in this cruel world..
But yes..
not diverting once again..

I would like to end this topic today by getting my favourite guru.. Paramhansa Yoganand in the picture...
I learnt from him that just praying is not enough... putting efforts in your prayers is most important if you do want
to be closer to God and learn to do the right things.. we all have to make efforts to do that extra bit for god also...
I used to hear my friends say very often.. that they dont get time sometimes.. and that god is everywhere..
but I truly believe god is there where your efforts are...and i know god is everywhere but if we do specially make the
efforts to visit him.. it would definetely make him realise that we r making efforts and we want him...

I dont know if anyone agrees but I have realised the importance of the two words in my life...
Thank God for that...

diverting from the main topic doesnt help..

Lessons learnt
Rule : Diverting from the main topic doesnt help anyone ... and neither does it help me..

It goes against success to do anything incomplete.. take it to its end.. whenever in conversation..
always try to end what you say.. very often i had been told the same..
however have not followed the advise very seriously...
I want to put my heart and mind into what I am doing..and not have my mind diverted from what I am doing..

mac in my life

it was the 28th of November that i was finally able to get my hands on a mac...
it was the most awesome feeling that i had...

i couldnt believe that i was doing something that i really wanted...is this success.. i think..to be able to do what you really what u want to do..i had a ball of time on that day thanks to Dinesh..

We both queued up in the lines for Madame Tussauds first and then met all the stars...
Wasnt the most that i wanted out of it... I hate to say that..it was something that i had waited for ..years..
yet it didnt come that way....
It was different.. everything that I thought had changed.. it was not what.. i was...thinking for so many years..

London Eye was good.. after waiting in a queue for almost one hour even after purchasing a ticket.... we had some amazing
views... all the money spent well that day...
The evening we saw a movie where the most brilliant actors had still not been able to make a mark... or even force out a giggle..

Coming home to Mac is what i was waiting for.. it was the most beautiful.. sight..i will never ever forget the first feel of the mac..
it was great..it was that i could have never known if i didnt have it.. with me....
Though I have learnt the important lesson in life last year after my scorpio was stolen..that we should never be attached.. to anything in this world... they are all a cause of pain.. and such distraught..
why then should i bring it upon myself another attachment..