Life is changing very quick when the deterioration has started cannot be diagnosed at the moment..
i am sinking and sinking deep into something i cannot see myself.. but am i prepared to give into this situatuion ..put my hands up and say i give up when i know i havent tried enough to say yes i have tried everything... i rebuke my mind as in my mind i have made a 1000 million plans with each passing second and with each passing second either extinguished it or thrown it in some corner that i am going to take time to find it..
why have things begun to hurt me so much.. why should they when i know i havent tried..
i stand on the busstop each day for Bus No 183. and each time i look at a BMW convertible i tell myself that o common at least i have been lucky with cars if not men or my job..
i sometimes wonder was i born lucky and ensured that i ruined each bit of my chance to live this complete life that i am looking for..
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